fourth month

This marks the 4th month since the day we started communicating. never, as in never did it occur to me that we'll be like this, sharing a special bond that not everybody understands. it all started from a simple to  a huge crush on you running for 2.5 years now.. i used to jut stalk you, look at you from afar, stutter whenever you talk to me, blush whenever you smile at me. It was pure admiration on my part and nothing on yours. Until we got the chance to talk as a mentor and mentee. I got your number and sent you a message. That's it. Just hi and hello. until the day you replied to me and actually conversed with me. It started to be an everyday routine for us. You dropped messages and I did the same.

My admiration got bigger as I started to know the real you, the masungit, the all-knowing, the superior but sweet, malambing, and protective you. You then asked me to court you if I want you to be my BF, just to change things around. I said yes to it, with the intention of just making kilig and landian with you.

Days passed by, we shared happy times and even tons of arguments over text message, phone calls, and instant messaging. Yes, all virtual. It was an issue that you promised to fix. You have an unbelievable schedule that you don't even have time for me. I learned to just accept it and settle.

Until one day, a friend told me about you seeing another girl at the office. I was furious and I confronted you. Why? Because you told me we're not playing games and we're taking things one step at a time. You reasoned out and told me that girl was just part of your past and we have to start over. I agreed kasi di kita matiis.

I got back to the work force. Valero and Leviste. We see each other during lunch time, or after shift. Even if its just for a few minutes. Things went deeper. You call me almost everyday, we talk everyday but we still havent gone out. Again, I don't want to complain.

You told me you're falling in love and even said 'i love you'. We call each other baby, honey, babe, etc.. Every conversation is a kilig one. We still have our petty arguments.. but then again, we're still in this stage, only a bit deeper.

Another friend again told me, you're married to the mother of your kid. You told me you're not. You even want me to verify it with your friends. Again, I believed you. I came across the blogsite/multiply of your past. You hurt her badly as per her posts. I saw your kid, how you held him a few years back. It hurt me pero what can I do? Its your past and I do have a crazy past too. You told me you'll come out clean for me and you will clear your name. Another news that you've been seen with office girl again, I wanted to end this but you said no.. you told me you likED her and its me who you like now. Again...I believed you.

Now you said the table just turned and you'll do everything to prove to me that you deserve my love and heart. Please do show me, I wanna see it now before someone else does. My heart is yours at the moment but I cannot promise that its willing to wait till you're ready to give me part of you.

As of this writing, I have no other man in mind but you. It shouldn't be the case but I don't want to entertain others. I cant even understand why I'm feeling this for you. It is really overwhelming baby.

The last time we talked, you were so happy sharing how good this quarter was for you and the whole program. I am so happy and proud. Someone noticed pa na you look good and fit nowadays. Nakakatawa ka when you told me that some of the people asked you if its because of a lovelife and you smiled and answered, 'maybe..'

Hay. Anyway, if its meant to be us, it will be us..regardless of all dramas and complications. :)

hmmmmm :) obvious na ba?

SINGAPORE 2011

Finally!! July1-4, 2011

Thank you Mark and Manett for making this trip happen.

This was my first international trip and i traveled ALONE. oha?! I was so anxious, nervous, and excited. I talked to a lot of people and asked their opinions about travelling. M even sent me his reminders so as for me not to look stupid and 'first timer' in the airport. Hehe.

I landed SG at around 2:30 am. Mark was patiently waiting for me and very nice to drop me to my cousin's condo which is too far away from where he lives. Astig! Thank you. Finally saw my cousin again. After I settled in, I called M using Manett's phone. He was not picking up at first then he dropped the line. After a few minutes, he called me up. We talked for 10minutes as he was really busy that day at the office (lagi naman). Left each other messages through AIM.

Next day: Met up with Mark and he made me pasyal to different places. It was too hot outside pero it didnt stop me from having lotsa pictures. Hehe. It was just a fun mall hopping day. I wish I had millions that time! Hehe. Again, thank you Mark and Manett :))

Second day: Sentosa and meeting up with Ex and Dyan, and dinner with cousins before my flight home.

The photos tell it all. I had fun super. I promise to be back. Ipon lang muna :))

Thank you Mark, Manett, Kuya Doddie, and Ate Jan. Kisses to Andi :))

hate is not the opposite of love, apathy is

you once told me that when we were arguing about me being affected still by my past. never did it occur to me that i would be following your very own advice in our situation. 

a year with you is no joke. its my example of experiencing real life with someone. we shared a couple of challenges, heartaches, torments, and disappointments. those events made us see our differences and yet we still managed to create and share thousands of smiles, laughters, sweet gestures, unforgettable memories, acceptance, tolerance, learning, debate, and sweet loving.


i saw the demise coming, its true. i know what we had won't really last for a long time as expectations were set early on the relationship, but the tears wont stop and heart breaks into pieces when that day finally arrived. it hurts that it almost killed the sanity in me. that's when i realized i loved you more than i could imagine. 


to save my pride atleast, i decided to move on quietly. no trash talking, no bashing, no communicating. totally apart from the world we both used to live in. i departed from the people whom i know won't help me recover. i took the courage to be quiet and help myself instead. it paid off. after a month, i no longer think of you nor even remember your face when we were still together. though a month had already passed, i still didn't want to hear any story about you, and i prayed hard that God wont let our paths cross again yet. 


days passed and i was enjoying the freedom that i have now. it opened the door of communication with a person i've been admiring for two years now. that person unintentionally removed bitterness in my heart. until one day, i woke up feeling ready to talk about you again, hear stories about you, and therefore allowing myself to finally share thoughts about it. it was a good sign, i believed.


last night, with no preparation nor anticipation, our eyes met again. though it lasted for just 3-4 seconds, it still relieved me from the notion that ill be back to square one if i see you again.  i did feel nothing, no BS, no heart pounding event, nothing. i saw a blank face in you probably because it came as a surprise for both of us. after three months, i saw you again and i never expected it to be this easy and light, as if nothing happened. 


surprisingly after that moment, i thought of maybe saying hello and make small talk with you the next time we see each other. prayers really, can move mountains, can wash away pain and bitterness. we're still friends afterall. as i finish this writing, i know in my heart, i have already forgiven you and myself for what has happened. i will forever cherish the memories we had, it was an awesome rollercoaster ride with you, Ron.


until we meet again, Kulet. may the mighty heavens always look after you and shower you with what will make you happy. i loved you. i'm happy i can now add that letter D to the phrase i once used to describe how happy my life is when i was with you. 

Hello 3rd Month

I don't know if it's a good thing or not. No job at all means more rest for me, more time to make muni-muni about what's happening around me. I'd say the past two months were remarkable as I was able to spend so much time with my family. It's been 5years since I last stayed in Batangas for more than 3days, so this jobless moment is really appreciated by mom and siblings. Haha!


However, it makes me test my patience too about finding the perfect job for me. I promised myself not to settle for anything less again, so I have to choose a job that would really fit my personality..its just taking too much time..patience. Hay


I hope this would be the last time I'm gonna write about being jobless. Oh I have another word for my state now, Rest Specialist. Haha! Hay. Nabaliw nako. Atleast may pahinga akong madami..wala nga lang akong pera. :D

WEDNESDAY

What a terrible day. I blame it to hormones. I am having this time of the month again. I woke up feeling bad because of the little argument M and I had. Yes, we argue a lot. I dont even know why. Differences maybe. So it did set the mood for the day, too bad. I went to an interview-just so I can tell myself that I am serious in finding a new job (blame it to RCG for the promise of calling me for an offer, now I am complacent and super tamad to look for a job). It was 1 in the afternoon and Haring Araw was so mighty powerful. I couldnt really stand the heat outside. It was too damn hot!


The interview went well however, they re-scheduled me for a tech interview, in short, I got nothing to do na in that super init Ayala. I decided to text my friends from 24/7 so I can meet them and my lakad is not sayang naman. I went to the office, saw a lot of people and finally saw and hugged Fats.


Karen and I got ourselves huge mango shake and fries, talked and laughed until I cool down. I just vented out all the inis I have today. I went to Cash and Carry after to buy RCA for my DVD player, Lord, super init talaga today. Hay. I went home, watched Just Go With It and Going the Distance, it made me happy. I promised to sleep early but look at me now, still writing and its almost 2 in the morning. Still not heard from M yet.


I know tomorrow will be better. I just can't understand why another man is now able to bring all posible emotions in me. This cant be happening. Please naman. Waaah.


Hay.

Simple Lang Naman

Simple lang gusto ko. Ligawan mo ko. Bigyan mo ko flowers and chocolates. Puntahan mo ko sa bahay. Samahan mo ko magsimba. Magselos ka at pigilan mo ko sa ibang bagay. Mainis ka pero kaya kita paandaran. Tapos kumain tayo sa mura at sa mahal, magdate tayo at mamasyal sa iba’t-ibang lugar. Magpicture tayo ng madami. Mag-away tayo at maglambingan pagkatapos. Mag-ipon tayo tapos, yayain mo ko ng kasal, pakasal tayo, wag mo ko lokohin. Palakihin naten mga anak naten ng maayos. Pramis, di ka magsisisi saken. Ngayon, simple lang diba? Kaya mo ba? Go. :)

Tameme 101

Naranasan nyo na ba na may crush ka at hanggang tingin  ka lang? Kasi pag malapit sya sa'yo eh natatameme ka lang? Ako kase, OO! Haha. At hindi ko lang ma-absorb na nakakausap ko na ang dating dahilan ng pagkatameme ko. Hindi ko ren alam bakit ko sya gusto. Maangas, maitim, untidy-looking, not approachable, hindi ako pinapansin, lahat na yata. Buti na lang mabango ka. Haha. Pero siguro lahat ng nabanggit ko are the same reasons why you caught my attention.


Ayan tuloy, sa kakiligan ko, I was driven to compile my madaming tameme moments with you. :P


Late 2008: 4th flr-near the printer-behind the pillar beside the TL station


Din: (pasulyap-sulyap sa isang direction lang. malamang eh kitang kita ko ikaw kahit nakatago!)
TL Jojo: Tawagin ko ba Din? Teka lang ah


(tinawag naman nga, lumapit)


At ako, napaupo na lang habang nag-uusap sila. Kamote tong si TL.


Mid 2009: Ondoy: Redgames. May outage. Ni-ping ko sya re the outage. Ang tatag ko lang sa chat. Pagbaba sa yosihan. Ayan na. Habang namomoroblema sila sa outage at sa bumabahang Valero, tahimik na naman ako.


2010: No particular order :P


May 2010: First day after the motorcycle accident


Instance 1: Yosihan: Nadaanan nya ko nakaupo


M: what happened to you?
D: Uhmm, just an accident.,ah...eh..
M: Well obviously (then umakyat na sya)
D: Napa-yosi na lang


Instance 2: Sa 3rd floor habang may kausap syang TL


Din: (tahimik na naglalakad)
M: So where did you get that huh?
D: ah eh, just a motorcycle accident
M: you're a racer now? what? you ride a motorcycle?
D: Uhmm no..okay lang po ako boss..
M: yeah right look at you.
D: *smile*


Mid to Late 2010:


1. Din, sleepy when M suddenly did a side-by-side barging with ate lorie. KAMUSTA ANG GULAT? Napaupo ako ng maayos habang sumusinghot sa paligid. Ambango eh. At dki ako mapakali. Parang tatalon puso ko sa kaba. Nyahahaha! Pasulyap sulyap lang.


2. M habang asa 3rd floor at paikot-ikot. Umupo ba naman sa tabi ni TL Audrey na syang naka-station sa baay kung asan ako?! Kamusta naman talaga?! Tapos pumunta pa sya kay ate Lorie at nagbarge ulet na syang asa tapat ko naman! Kamusta talaga ang pasimpleng pagtayo at pagsulyap ko. Waaaaahhh!!! Eto ang catch: saktong weird ang call ko, long call, email issue. weird talaga!


Din: (lumapit na kay TL Jojo kasi weird talaga issue. padaan daan ako sa tapat ni M kasi lampas pa dun station ni TL) TL, lika nga sa station ko! ang weird ng email issue ko pramis!!
TL: sus nagpapacute ka lang kay M eh!
Din: tanga hindi noh, seryoso mahirap talaga!
TL (lumapit kame sa station ko.)


Nung nakaupo nako...


TL: hey brother, can you help my agent? she said she's having a weird email issue.
Din: LUMAKI TALAGA MATA KO LALO LIKE THIS @_@
M: so what's up? (pagkalapit saken)
**Naman Lord ambango naman neto!!!!!!!**
Din: uhmm ehh..(mega explain ng issue na nauutal na napapasmile)
M: is this a serious call or you're just making fun of me?
D: huh seryoso to noh!
M: alright, contact a mod and tell them i said this.....blah blah blah
D: thanks!
*define himatay?*


3. Asa yosihan.First break (M, TL, others nakaupo). Dumating ako. At ang puso ko hello naman, tumalon ulet!


TL: Sus Din, yang ngiti mo na naman! (take note: andun si M!!!)
Din: Ano ba TL? para kang tanga dyan!
M: (just listening)
TL: (tinanong yung ibang nakaupo): Nakita nyo ba picture ni Din at Ron? sweet na sweet lang eh!
Din: smile (deep inside: lintek ka tl!!! quiet ka lang! si M andyan oh, baka kung ano isipin!)
*pag-akyat, sinapak ko si TL. basag trip eh! haha. sabi ni TL: may boyprend ka diba???? sabi ko: bastaaaa!!!! eh crush ko yun eh!!!


4. FGD: 
TL: Guys, go to the conference room (May mga call pa sila, ako naman, gora na sa conference room, syempre petiks yun eh.)


*Pagpasok ko sa room, sya lang nakita ko. AS IN SYA LANG. waaaaaaaaahh!
D: oh..hi boss!
M: hello. where are the others?
D: still on a call
M: alright, have a seat
 *at umupo ako na hindi na mapakali..hanggang pumasok na sila..at habang nag-FGD. hindi mawari ang ngiti ko. di ako makatingin. nakatitig lang ako. at...parehas kame ng phone!!!! yehey. hahaha!


5. Yosihan: Magkakausap kame nina Mojo, Noah, at Ron. Kwento kwento kame at ang mga teammates ko, asa may other side. Biglang may lumapit:
M: hey
D: (hindi nako mapakali. hindi ko kaya tong moment na to kase katabi ko sya at katapat ko si ron!)
*in short, nagwalk out ako. hehehe. at nagpunta ko sa mga teammates ko na nakatawa saken. sabi ko, di ko kinaya na katabi sya! nyahahaha


6. TCAMP. I was shortlisted sa TL Post. wow. Elevator scene:
M: I saw your name on the list
D: Ah, yes..
M: So you want grow instead of glow?
D: Yes boss..
M: well goodluck! see you around!
D: speechless


Nyahahaha! Shet.


At napakadami pang elevator moments, na nakatingin lang ako. nakasmile..ganon lang...haha :D chinachat ko ren sya, dun lang ako magaling. nansstalk ako sa 4th para makita sya, pag naman malapit ayoko na. may time na ayoko na sa kanya kase nga kakahiya naman sa boyprend ko nun. hehe. saka feeling ko nagfeeling sya. so sinupladahan ko na. pati sa chat lalo na nung ma-bridge ako. casual/professional lang. hehe.


2011


many things happened..i resigned...and the rest is history. yiheeee...let's see... =)


NAKAKATAMEME DIBA? =))