fourth month

This marks the 4th month since the day we started communicating. never, as in never did it occur to me that we'll be like this, sharing a special bond that not everybody understands. it all started from a simple to  a huge crush on you running for 2.5 years now.. i used to jut stalk you, look at you from afar, stutter whenever you talk to me, blush whenever you smile at me. It was pure admiration on my part and nothing on yours. Until we got the chance to talk as a mentor and mentee. I got your number and sent you a message. That's it. Just hi and hello. until the day you replied to me and actually conversed with me. It started to be an everyday routine for us. You dropped messages and I did the same.

My admiration got bigger as I started to know the real you, the masungit, the all-knowing, the superior but sweet, malambing, and protective you. You then asked me to court you if I want you to be my BF, just to change things around. I said yes to it, with the intention of just making kilig and landian with you.

Days passed by, we shared happy times and even tons of arguments over text message, phone calls, and instant messaging. Yes, all virtual. It was an issue that you promised to fix. You have an unbelievable schedule that you don't even have time for me. I learned to just accept it and settle.

Until one day, a friend told me about you seeing another girl at the office. I was furious and I confronted you. Why? Because you told me we're not playing games and we're taking things one step at a time. You reasoned out and told me that girl was just part of your past and we have to start over. I agreed kasi di kita matiis.

I got back to the work force. Valero and Leviste. We see each other during lunch time, or after shift. Even if its just for a few minutes. Things went deeper. You call me almost everyday, we talk everyday but we still havent gone out. Again, I don't want to complain.

You told me you're falling in love and even said 'i love you'. We call each other baby, honey, babe, etc.. Every conversation is a kilig one. We still have our petty arguments.. but then again, we're still in this stage, only a bit deeper.

Another friend again told me, you're married to the mother of your kid. You told me you're not. You even want me to verify it with your friends. Again, I believed you. I came across the blogsite/multiply of your past. You hurt her badly as per her posts. I saw your kid, how you held him a few years back. It hurt me pero what can I do? Its your past and I do have a crazy past too. You told me you'll come out clean for me and you will clear your name. Another news that you've been seen with office girl again, I wanted to end this but you said no.. you told me you likED her and its me who you like now. Again...I believed you.

Now you said the table just turned and you'll do everything to prove to me that you deserve my love and heart. Please do show me, I wanna see it now before someone else does. My heart is yours at the moment but I cannot promise that its willing to wait till you're ready to give me part of you.

As of this writing, I have no other man in mind but you. It shouldn't be the case but I don't want to entertain others. I cant even understand why I'm feeling this for you. It is really overwhelming baby.

The last time we talked, you were so happy sharing how good this quarter was for you and the whole program. I am so happy and proud. Someone noticed pa na you look good and fit nowadays. Nakakatawa ka when you told me that some of the people asked you if its because of a lovelife and you smiled and answered, 'maybe..'

Hay. Anyway, if its meant to be us, it will be us..regardless of all dramas and complications. :)

hmmmmm :) obvious na ba?